EBOOK DOWNLOAD (Drop the Ball) ´ Tiffany Dufu
The Worst Breakfast eNd prompts are no longer reuired I know she had MEL the spreadsheetxtraordinaire but what happens when in the division of labor the husband takes the male gendered tasks anyway How do you navigate the division of labor when one spouse significantly out The Maracot Deep earns the other These would have been a lot helpful than hearing about her work in the glittery non profit world of New York and all of the famous people she gets to meet This was anye opener about some of my own habits in my marriage and I m glad I read this At heart it s a book about how women wanting it all put unnecessary stress on themselves and others to do so because that s what they ve been shown needs to be done Men on the other hand have been shown that they don t need to pick up the pieces or the slack Social conditioning So when a woman finally says that some of the things that don t take her to her highest and best self remembering to pick up the dry cleaning and tightening screws in the closet she can delegate those tasks and accept the fact that her partner will do them they want he knows how to best do them That doesn t mean they make best use of his highest and best self but it does in the sense it gives him ownership of household maintenance too The takeaway for me on this one was accepting that the way my husband does things I ask of him is okay I don t need to micromanage since it s not done the way I would do it It got done that s good Slade House enough By praising the work getting done that positive reinforcementnsures happens in the future By not micromanaging I m not nagging and I m also accepting the fact that my husband might be teaching me something about a task or himself The breaking down of gender stuff was interesting I d be really fascinated to see this looked at from a same sex couple perspective too I suspect tactics and suggestions are the same but the science and research behind it would be interesting I ll let the dishes sit in the sink now and instead read another book I found this book disappointing probably due to the marketing as much as anything The New Catacomb else I had seen this advertised as a measured response to Sheryl Sandberg s Lean In but it merely turned out to be Tiffany Dufu s version of the same story Thendorsement by uiet author Susan Cain had me hopeful but while Dufu does spend a great deal of time discussing household communication the tales of her networking activities were than nough to make an introvert s head spin It s an amazing feat that she gets any work done at home or at the office between all the cocktail parties and coffee dates ven if many of these activities are part of her job description and that of her husbandMany readers of Lean In complained that it was out of touch with non Out of My Mind executive women In this regard Dufu deserves credit for featuring a few stories of average lower income women a bus driver for instance navigating the demands of unforgiving work schedules child care and household management But I wish she would have given them attention Dufu may not be a Googlexecutive but her personal story had much the same thrust as Sandberg s with the drive for a trophy career at its root ven if that wasn t one of her xplicit personal goals her story read this way to me While Dufu pushes The Unrealistic Dream Of Having It All unrealistic dream of having it all the side when it comes to dropping the ball there is only one arena in which that attitude is Затворникът everntertained the home It is always mail piling up home projects that settle for good Gilliamesque enough but I didn t recall Dufuver describing how she passed off organizing a big vent to a colleague so she had a manageable load Perhaps this was merely the boundaries the book drew for itself Ironically while Dufu is hyper focused on helping her readers break free of the stifling pressure of the invisible homemakers meritocracy she merely advocates prioritizing one meritocracy the workplace over another the home I guess I was bound to be disappointed by a book that presumed all of its readers had their priorities in the same order but not without some obligatory lip service to diversity in families and social circumstances The main problem with this narrative is that it dismisses the many motivations mothers have for working often than we d like to dismisses the many motivations mothers have for working often than we d like to it is not primarily for personal development though that is always a nice bonus but in order to pay the bills and support their family and perhaps because they are terrified that taking a few years off will forever liminate their ability to gain and sustain a professional job in perpetuity which again is depressingly realistic Western society may have accepted that pregnancy doesn t merit a compulsory resignation but it has not yet accepted that a few years of raising children full time does not reduce all of a woman s The Cinema of David Cronenberg education and skill to a worthless heap Most working mothers already do most of the things Dufu recommends such as abandoning perfectionism and control going to bed on time and delegating with joy When there s very little room to drop the ball at home it makes one wonder why it always seems out of the uestion to consider dropping it anywherelse The subtle message is that if women don t want high powered careers they don t belong in the workplace at all Where are the options for women who want to support their families but don t have their heart set on making it to the top Why are our only choices go for the C suite or nothing Why is the trendy solution to the work life balance have your husband do around the house rather than negotiate a flexible schedule than prioritizes the of a working mom and her family Why is it working parents that have to drop the ball rather their The Best of Philip K. Dick employers I wish that Dufu would have asked some tougher uestions that would have set her story apart from Lean In. Also starting families Mounting responsibilities at work and home leave them with no bandwidth to do what will most lead to their success Offering new perspective on why the women's leadership movement has stalled and packed with actionable advice Tiffany Dufu's Drop the Ball urges women tombrace imperfection to Never Let Me Go expect less of themselves and from others only then can they focus on what they truly care about devote the necessarynergy to achieving their real goals and create the type of rich rewarding life we all desir. ,
summary Û Final Reckoning (Babylon 5: Saga of Psi Corps, eBook or KindlePUB ↠ Tiffany Dufu,
35 starsOne of the things that s hardest about the twin problems for women of worklife balance and domestic division of labor is actually figuring out how to fix it We know the problems but finding workable solutions can feel like just another thing that overwhelms you when you re already overwhelmed DROP THE BALL s greatest strength is that it understands this and lays out a roadmap with actionable steps and specific The Dreaming Jewels examples Dufu is smart funny and personable Reading the book makes you want to be her friend Highly recommended particularly for women with young children or women who are planning to have kids soonNow time for the nitpicking Because I have some nits to pick I always do with this kind of self help book This book should really say up front that it is for a limited audience specifically 1 women 2 who work 3 are happily married to a man who also works 4 and have career goals in leadership orven the C Suite It also assumes that you are reasonably well off and able bodied If you are most of these things you should find a lot of useful information here But if you re a single woman like me there s a lot less There s one other very significant caveat the happily in happily married I added just above is for a reason This book assumes that you have a husband who really does view you as an 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea eual partner and who really does support your career and who really does want to help out This is a pretty significant assumption There are a lot of women who have straight up asked for the things Dufu spends the first portion of the book not asking for and not received them The assumption that you can drop a ball and your husband will pick it up is one that will leave a lot of women with a permanently dropped ball There is a lot of good advice here I like what Dufu has to say about delegating with joy and avoiding the problem of uninvolved fathersspecially with infants But I admit I felt irked a lot because so much of the work here still falls on women To be fair this is a book FOR women who want this specific advice It really isn t the book s fault I just wonder where are all the books for men making it clear to them that they aren t pulling their weight and giving them action itemsThe final limitation I noticed was in a note I made on one page where Dufu talked about her support system or village to assist with tasks I wrote This is an Greystone Tavern extrovert s village And it is Dufu knows a lot of people she has a strong support system and she s clearly a people person If you are in a new place if you work from home if you are an introvert it s going to be hard to replicate the many categories of contacts Dufu recommendsI was partnered in myarly parentingworking years and I did give a lot of things up in my career and I did have massive issues in my marriage about division of labor so a lot of what Dufu says rang very true to me I don t know that her solutions would have worked but I think they could have been helpful for me if I d read this The Time Machine earlier in life And if Iver consider partnering with someone and considering division of household labor again I will definitely be picking #Up This Book Once Again #this book once again giving it to my partner too Thank you Call Your Girlfriend for getting this book into "My Life A Lot Of This Book "life A lot of this book around helping working moms find balance between home and work and I wish this book had The Voyeurs existed for me to read before coming back from maternity leave I was already recommending this book to people before I dven finished itI related to a lot of the challenges she describes and I liked that her answers went deeper than just hire a housekeeper providing xercises to identify what s really meaningful to you and how to align your day to day activities with your values I found some of those xercises very The Man-Kzin Wars enlightening and would haveven before having a kid I also appreciated hearing the perspective of a high achieving woman of color on work life balance and the personal stories the author shared of the Number the Stars extra pressures that come into play for people from underrepresented backgrounds I also appreciated that she talked about her attempts to achieve balance throughout her career including when she was building her career and didn t have as many financial resources Too many books on achieving balance assume a reader of privilege and this book made fewer assumptions along those lines with thexception of one big one having a partner although she does make some recommendations on how to achieve the same support system through shared living arrangements The Origins of the Cultural Revolution, Vol. 2 etc I received this ARC through a Goodreads giveawayI think this is a book that will help a lot of people I realize that there is nothing wrong with asking for help or delegating I never reallyntertained the idea that allowing or asking other to do things for me will help me succeed Yes I know that sounds so obvious but just like the author in the past I am always afraid that if I other people won t do it right or I feel guilty FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING MYSELFTHERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL not doing something myselfThere is so much potential ha I picked up this book because a colleague of mine said most career books for women didn t have useful information for her as a person of color So I went actively looking for a book by an author of color that had high ratings and sadly it took some doing to find one However I m not sure that this book will meet my colleague s need as it The Night Stalker (Robert Hunter, ended up primarily about giving up on being a perfectionist homemakermother and learning to focus on what s most important with your limited time for career marriage motherhood and home With that said I do think you can take some of the principles of the book and apply them to work Especially as stereotypically women can be assignedvolunteer for so many projects that are not seen as career advancing but that A bold and inspiring memoir and manifesto from a renowned voice in the women's leadership movement who shows women how to cultivate the single skill they really need in order to thrive the ability to let go Once the poster girl for doing it all after she had her first child Tiffany Dufu struggled to accomplishverything she thought she needed to in order to succeed Like so many driven and talented women who have been brought up to believe that to have it all they must do it all Dufu began to feel that achieving her care. Enefit the company See As someone who does juggle two teenage boyshome with a full time car Drop the Ball Achieving More by Doing Less by activist Tiffany Dufu had me very Mona Lisa Acelerada enthused and motivated at the beginning as it seemed to be well on its way to delivering on the promise of its book description But one by one misgivings started to crop up grow and multiply so that by thend of the book I was unsettled by Dufu s most basic assumptions and motivations I guess I Deaths End (Remembrance of Earth’s Past, either didn t read the reviews well or took the title at face value what I didn t want was a woman telling me her story and her thoughtsfeelingsdiscovery about the concept of having it all that women fall down the rabbit hole over I didn t get farnough into it before I started skimming and therefore did not actually finish this book whose voice not literally I didn t listen to an audio drove me insane and I was already rolling my Stanley Kubrick, Director eyes after several pages It is a concept to be aware of the very nature that women must be all and do all and when they re not doing it they re still thinking about it But I couldn t connect and found it irritating If there were practical applications aside from her personal manifesto akin to steps actions and organization I would have been happier I wanted science and recommendations not a memoir Drop the Ball is a how to guide on having it all based on Tiffany Dufu sxperience with her husband I found myself as a modernyoungish woman nodding along with so many of her perspectives and Forbidden Planet experiences Shexplores how despite how far we have come as a gender many of the household responsibilities still fall to women Even if men help out their contribution statistically is not 50% and this is not always their fault sometimes women take on than they need to andor don t ask for help The applications of this book are really just towards working women in a committed relationship with a man she acknowledges that the dynamics are different in same sex couples where both partners work outside the home One of the biggest issues facing the couple is the ingrained sexism we inherit from watching our parents generation and media which harms both men and womenShe suggests that not verything must be done perfectly as this is sometimes why women would rather do the tasks themselves that we should trust our partners to do housework and do it well and that we can drop the ball by giving up some of these responsibilities to our partners or sometimes to noone if it doesn t help with your andor your partner s missions in life She uses many anecdotes from her own life and those of people she knows to xplain these situations and show how they might be aided by a different approachI am not usually a lover of self help books but this was really incredible It flows so beautifully and with such clarityrelatableness that I felt like it could have come from my own life xperiences Although this book may not resonate with veryone s situations I found it to be really poignant and highly applicable to my own life I see a lot of myself in the situations Dufu describes and I have been trying to get better about this specially regarding
"Standards Of Perfection At Home "of perfection at home really made me feel less alone with my own struggles and offers up some great strategies for how to allow yourself to let things go as well as how to approach your partner for help if this is an issue For me I found the passages about letting perfection go most critical Dufu tells us to ask for our massive to do lists and see what actually needs to be done what can be done in an asier way and what can be done by someone The Chosen (Stargate Atlantis, else If we prioritize based on our and our family s goals there are many things we think we need to do that we really do not I am not saying this as well as she does but it s a really fantastic book and I would highly suggest this for women who are struggling to have it all and who have a male partner as this is where most of the advice would be applicable less so for single parents or same sex couples There are a fewxamples of these other situations but by and large this book is for a fairly specific demographic but for people in this situation I think it would be incredibly usefulPlease note that I received this book through a goodreads giveaway All opinions are my own I really wanted this book to be a life changer much like The Japanese Art of Tidying Up was to me Alas this book was 90% straight up disconnect and 10% tantalizing and thought provoking In some ways I adopted many book was 90% straight up disconnect and 10% tantalizing and thought provoking In some ways I adopted many the tactics the author recommends from the very start when I had my first child because I had no desire to be the perfect mother I just wanted to retain some semblance of myself while being a mother This meant dropping a lot of Skin (The X-Files, expectations that I didn t fully believe in to start The disconnect showed up in various ways I was astounded that the author who meticulously plans meal preparation for a week didn t plan on how to take pumping breaks at work Five minutes of Googling will provide copious amounts of information on how to do this Even incredulous though was that she actually let the mail pile up for four months and let bills go to collections because she delegated with joy to her husband and was not going to undermine her own decision Of all of the hills to die on this one affects your credit rating I m still dumbfounded by it The tantalizing portions were few and far between but usually consisted of holding up a mirror to our society and reflecting back how it portrays mothers and fathers and neatly sorts them into gender roles Things I wish she had added practical tips on how to delegate I would pay real money for someone toxplain to me how to delegate with joy the full on management of the household not just individual chores so that reminders Er and personal goals was an impossibility Eventually she discovered the solution letting go In Drop the Ball Dufu recounts how she learned to reevaluate Rebels of the Red Planet expectations shrink her to do list and meaningfullyngage the assistance of others freeing the space she needed to flourish at work and to develop deeper meaningful relationships at homeEven though women are half the workforce they still represent only ighteen per cent of the highest level leaders The reasons are obvious just as women reach middle management they are.